Wanted: Mothers…

Vacancies available globally: permanent post involving demanding 24/7 care duties, 365 days a year. Lifelong position. Must possess a talent for bringing order to chaos. Candidates need superb communication and management skills and to be ready for anything. Evening and weekend work is required.


Multiple cleaning, administration and catering duties

Always demonstrating bucketfuls of patience and a sense of humour, even in the mornings

Duties will vary according to the age of the offspring and range from basic hygiene tasks to entertainment and providing a taxi service

Dolls house/toy car mender

Storyteller – Bible and other kinds, preferably with different voices

Creator of fancy dress outfits on demand

Advanced juggling – of all kinds


Team coach

Special needs expert

Gifted and talented development


First aider

Special events coordinator

Entertainment organiser

Nose wiper

Educational support worker



Role model

A willingness to be invisible on request as your offspring grow older

Candidates must be flexible enough to take on extra responsibilities with no advance notice

Previous Experience: A great advantage but none required. Some support may be given but generally only if you ask for it…

Opportunities for Progression: None. Mothers may, however, be given the opportunity to expand their role by having more babies and sometimes even caring for those of other mothers.

Salary: None. No overtime is paid. You must in fact pay for the privilege of being a mother by providing everything your children need.

There is a Jewish Proverb, “God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers”.

By Sally McIver

FamilyLife UK is a ministry of Agape Ministries Ltd
Registered charity No. 258421
167 Newhall Street, Birmingham, B3 1SW
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