Thriving marriages in a ‘virtual’ Together group

Rumbi & Muchada

Rumbi and Muchada brought together a few couples they knew to be part of a Together marriage group and because people’s homes are spread around the country they decided to use technology to meet virtually. 

Muchada: “We have benefitted from the Together group and wanted to share what we have learnt with other couples. We love the ‘ripple effect’ – being part of making change happen – and the long term principles which help couples, which is why we decided to start a Together group oursleves.”

Rumbi: “We have five couples in our group. They are all married with the newest couple having been married for one year and the longest for twenty two years . Our couples come from three different countries; they are British, Zimbabwean and Kenyan. ,they live in different cities and are of different ages. It is a diverse group.”

Muchada: “the couples that are in the group live across the UK . They are based in Aylesbury, London and the Midlands . We therefore found it difficult to meet up physically and decided to meet online. We use an application called Zoom. Its very simple to use . All the couples have downloaded the app and people log on at the same time. We can see each other via the videos.”

Rumbi: “We honestly haven’t had any problems with the tech at all and have found it easy to use and very user friendly.”

Rumbi goes on to explain how a typical evening works: “We log on and initially catch up and chat up on how everyone is doing. We then go through the guide in the book and conduct the session in the same way as we do it physically. We pray for each other at the end.”

“There have been really a lot of laughs and the session on intimacy was quite good. We had a lot of laughs there. One of the highlights for us is one young man who was very introverted and was not in touch with his feelings. We have seen him come out of his shell take part and gain confidence. He has been able to now articulate his feelings and has managed to do the Together Homework.  Doing the homework was a bone of contention in their relationship. We have seen growth and maturity in many of the relationships.”

Muchada: “We have enjoyed all the sessions. We have grown as a couple and really enjoyed running this group. We have stayed on top of our communication  and have really developed as individuals and also as a couple.”

Rumbi: “There have been real advantages: We have been able to conduct the together group later in the evening. Distance has not been a problem and the couples haven’t had to make childcare arrangements. Now during this period of lockdown we are also going to help each other to try and help each other by catching up using the same platform.”

The couple sum up their experience: “A great marriage is not where a perfect couple comes together; it’s where two people decide not to give up on each other and work on their marriage together. Together we can make a difference and bring transformation and restoration to our marriages.” 

Christine Daniel, April 2020

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