Sounds like ridiculous psychobabble or perhaps an oblique reference to sexual relations doesn’t it?

Actually I was inspired to use the term ‘conscious coupling’ by the Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin who separated earlier this year explaining their decision as a conscious uncoupling.  I’m not going to judge them because I have no idea what was going on in their marriage. What I do know is that whatever they choose to call their split it will be a very painful experience for them and it will be devastating for the children.

So to be clear I’m advocating conscious coupling, not uncoupling.

The thing is most couples walk down the aisle full of hopes and expectations because they’ve met someone they love and want to share their life with.  So why do almost half of all marriages end in divorce?

Almost every couple experiences phases in their relationship. Experts tell us that the early honeymoon phase, where we are in love and neither one can do wrong, lasts anything from three minutes to three years.  Then there is a transition phase, as all kinds of things can begin to form a wedge between us: differences in values, personalities and habits;  unmet expectations  and problems. This can result in retaliation, where some couples fight and others become resentful and bitter, beginning to live separate lives even if they share a bed (or not). Many couples end up in a rejection phase where the relationship dies, ending in divorce or emotional withdrawal.

But it doesn’t have to end that way.

Whether you are still in love and happily sharing life together or you’ve got some issues or even had problems for a long time you CAN do something about it: consciously couple and what I mean by that is to be intentional about investing in your relationship. Don’t just go with the flow, be intentional and proactive.

Here are some ideas how you (and others if you invite them) might do that…

• Come along to our fun ‘What is Love, Actually?’ evening for couples where we explore the subject of love in a light-hearted way with clips from the film. Suitable for those of all faiths and none with NO GROUP WORK.  For more…
• Attend A Day Together seminar for couples to help you grow together as a couple in your communication, resolving conflict in a healthy way and express love in the way you each need it. Suitable for those of all faiths and none with NO GROUP WORK . For more…

• Be part of a Together small group exploring what the Bible says about marriage and learning practical relationship tools to help you grow closer in your marriage AND closer to God. Suitable for those open to what the Bible teaches about relationships. For more…