BLAME GAMEIt’s so easy. And almost fun. ‘Why didn’t you…?’ ‘If only you had….’ ‘Who left the milk sitting out?…’

Once we start firing blame-bullets at each other, someone’s going to get hurt. Sometimes it feels like we’re competing to win the prize of laying fault on the other person. Maybe it’s not my fault this time, but what about last time? I’m not Little Miss Perfect.

‘Tell the truth….don’t blame your neighbour,’ is ancient wisdom from the Psalms (from Psalm 15, The Message version). That concerns not only what crosses my lips but also what lurks in my heart. Even though I know God has forgiven me, there is still some sinful sludge down there. Icky goo that I don’t want anyone to see, like bad habits or attitudes. That’s what I need to get upset about, not minor infringements by my partner.

Is it really so important who left the milk out, or who forgot to take out the rubbish? God looks through my attempts to lay blame on my spouse and sees what I’m hiding.

Why not pray together as a couple to have the courage to deal with the essential things and let the rest go. Maybe we could ask him to help us be more eager to apologise for our own faults than to blame each other.

If the idea of praying with your partner sounds strange, When2Pray offers a weekly prayer prompt for couples. It’s a good way to establish a new habit of a regular short prayer together. The above article was adapted from one of the posts. Check it out at

Donna Vann, 2015

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